(11:32:40 AM) Sarah Gibson: If there is a lady that you'd like to court, bring her flowers or chocolates -- not genital warts.
(11:34:22 AM) Alexander Buckiewicz-Smith: The end result of my numerous trysts: an uncontrollable case of syphilis.
(11:35:31 AM) Sarah Gibson: Say what you will about AIDS, bitch please! The worst STDs are pregnancies.
(11:37:06 AM) Alexander Buckiewicz-Smith: You're less of a man for being sterile, but that's better than being stuck with a child.
(11:38:59 AM) Sarah Gibson: I'd prefer to sip upon whisky or gin, but eat some pineapple and I might try your semen.
(11:39:41 AM) Alexander Buckiewicz-Smith: Even though now I've hepatitis, it was worth it to bite on your nice ripe tits.
(11:42:14 AM) Alexander Buckiewicz-Smith: When I traveled to Thailand I was awed by the beauty. It makes up for the fact that it burns when I pee.
(11:42:31 AM) Sarah Gibson: I know you were excited about Obama's election, but you didn't have to give me that yeast infection.
(11:43:55 AM) Alexander Buckiewicz-Smith: You treated me like the Lone Ranger did Tonto, but now I'm depressed. I think I've got mono.
(11:45:40 AM) Sarah Gibson: I'm beginning to wish you just came on my tits, now that I have strange new growths on my bits...
(11:47:42 AM) Alexander Buckiewicz-Smith: After hundreds, maybe thousands of woodies, the unforgettable part is my itching goodies.
(11:48:21 AM) Alexander Buckiewicz-Smith: I'm also trying to concoct some new one involving bullfighters in Barcelona and papilloma.
(11:48:48 AM) Sarah Gibson: I wish I had somewhere to put this boner, but with this inflammation, I'm kind of a loner.
(11:50:09 AM) Alexander Buckiewicz-Smith: How about:
(11:50:31 AM) Alexander Buckiewicz-Smith: I always thought you were hotter than Sriracha, that's how I got this deformed cha-cha.
(11:57:26 AM) Alexander Buckiewicz-Smith: At first sight I thought you were just old and crusty. Now all of my unmentionables are pussy.
(11:58:07 AM) Alexander Buckiewicz-Smith: (Rhyming with Stussy, not wussy.)
(11:59:15 AM) Sarah Gibson: You said everything should be shared by us. I didn't know that included leaking pus.
(12:01:06 PM) Sarah Gibson: The sex was so good I was climbing the walls -- who knew it was so great to have three balls?
(12:01:50 PM) Alexander Buckiewicz-Smith: You get around more than Madame Bovary, maybe it's because you've got three nipples.
(12:01:51 PM) Alexander Buckiewicz-Smith: No.
(12:01:53 PM) Alexander Buckiewicz-Smith: Wait.
(12:01:56 PM) Alexander Buckiewicz-Smith: That one probably needs an edit.
(12:02:57 PM) Alexander Buckiewicz-Smith: I'm sure a pee one would work better with Lady Chatterly.
(12:03:04 PM) Sarah Gibson: Emma Bovary's got nothing on you -- it burns when you walk, when you pee, when you screw.
(12:04:14 PM) Sarah Gibson: I know it gets lonely when you're out at sea, but be warned: Ahab has HIV.
(12:05:28 PM) Alexander Buckiewicz-Smith: It's so lonely and tempting surrounded by seamen, but with the size of the whale you'll end up screamin'.
(12:07:29 PM) Sarah Gibson: You're wise to avoid touching a sailor's dick, but a harpoon hurts much more than a broom stick.
Youch!
Further Infections
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